12. How to Find Love as an INFJ – Gabrielle Valdes

Dating can be such a disappointment for INFJs! It’s a frustrating waste of time! But with the right tools and tricks, it can be a game changer! Relationship coach Gabby Valdes is here to give us the inside scoop on how to go from being a hopeless romantic to becoming a hopeful romantic.

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About the Guest:

Gabrielle Valdes is a love and dating coach, helping the disappointed dater recommit to themselves to find true love. She focuses on emotional intimacy, molding romantic attractions, and being your own best partner first.

Find Gabrielle here:

Explanation of the Behavior/Change Cycle

Blog posts that Gabby wrote for INFJ Woman: 

How to Deal with Dating Disappointments as an INFJ

How to Find Love as an INFJ

Mentioned in the Episode

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  1. You can use the MBTI personality test as a tool to understand yourself and remove the shame that you feel about yourself
  2. Being different doesn’t mean you’re broken
  3. We don’t always get things right the first time, especially in our career, but everything we do leads us to what we’re meant to do
  4. A lot of INFJs deal with perfectionism, but it’s not always a bad thing. 
  5. The behavior change cycle is really helpful for INFJs to consider. There are 4 phases: pre-contemplation, contemplation, preparation, action, maintenance, & relapse or making mistakes.
  6. Matching up real life with expectations is a difficult challenge.
  7. There are 2 kinds of romantics: hopeless and hopeful. Hopeless is basing your long term decisions on a feeling of the honeymoon phase. We end up putting too much pressure on our partner or potential partner. Being hopeful is being realistic and loving yourself first. 
  8. INFJs are very open to giving but we have to balance it with taking care of ourselves too.
  9. INFJs are prone to taking things to the extreme in order to please someone else. 
  10. Just because it hasn’t worked doesn’t mean it won’t. It just hasn’t worked yet.

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